Best American Magazine Writing 2013 by The American Society of Magazine Editors

Author:The American Society of Magazine Editors
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: LAN008000, Literary Collections/Essays, LCO010000, Language Arts And Disciplines/Journalism
Publisher: Columbia University Press
Published: 2013-12-10T05:00:00+00:00

Brittany couldn’t stop thinking about Sam, a reel that looped endlessly in her head. Sam dancing to one of their favorite metal bands, Drowning Pool. Sam dead in the tub with the back of her head blown off. Sam’s ashes in an urn, her coffin empty at her wake.

She couldn’t sleep. Her grades fell. Her daily harassment at school continued, but now without her best friend to help her cope. At home, Brittany played the good daughter, cleaning the house and performing her brother’s chores unasked, all in a valiant attempt to maintain some family peace after the bank took their house and both parents lost their jobs in quick succession. Then Brittany started cutting herself.

Just eleven days after Sam’s death, on November 22, 2009, came yet another suicide: a Blaine High School student, fifteen-year-old Aaron Jurek—the district’s third suicide in just three months. After Christmas break, an Andover High School senior, Nick Lockwood, became the district’s fourth casualty: a boy who had never publicly identified as gay, but had nonetheless been teased as such. Suicide number five followed, that of recent Blaine High School grad Kevin Buchman, who had no apparent LGBT connection. Before the end of the school year there would be a sixth suicide, fifteen-year-old July Barrick of Champlin Park High School, who was also bullied for being perceived as gay, and who’d complained to her mother that classmates had started an “I Hate July Barrick” Facebook page. As mental-health counselors were hurriedly dispatched to each affected school, the district was blanketed by a sense of mourning and frightened shock.

“It has taken a collective toll,” says Northdale Middle School psychologist Colleen Cashen. “Everyone has just been reeling—students, teachers. There’s been just a profound sadness.”

In the wake of Sam’s suicide, Brittany couldn’t seem to stop crying. She’d disappear for hours with her cell phone turned off, taking long walks by Elk Creek or hiding in a nearby cemetery. “Promise me you won’t take your life,” her father begged. “Promise you’ll come to me before anything.” Brittany couldn’t promise. In March 2010, she was hospitalized for a week.

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